Yesterday

Yesterday morning I was quite productive.  I finished my grainy mustard I had been working on for two days.  I made hazelnut granola with raisins, honey, cinnamon, and agave.  I also had a misadventure with triple chocolate cookies.  I was possessed and just threw the hot from the flame toasted hazelnuts into the dough, thus melting the ghirardelli chopped bar and the chocolate chips and the butter.  Yes it is still tasty, but I think the texture just isn't what I want it to be or what I have made with a double chocolate version.

Supreme Halibut!

I made a lovely impromptu sauteed halibut last Thursday night.  I simply salt & peppered and zested half a homegrown orange.  When I zest I use non-treated or waxed citrus.  I want zest not chemicals and gums.  Anyway, after the zest I immediately threw the huge fillet (1.78 lbs) into a hot skillet with butter.  Since it was a large piece of fish I immediately covered it with a lid.  My lid is glass so it is great to be able to see the cooking.  I flipped it once and several minutes later I put it on a serving platter.  I took the orange half and a half of a small grapefruit and squeezed it over the fish.  I think next time, with more prep time I would supreme some orange and grapefruit to top the fish and maybe even a green herb.

Dangerous Peanut Butter Frosting!

The night before on a whim I whipped up some oatmeal raisin cookies.  I had seen enough recipes and baked enough cookies to be able to remember the important proportion of certain ingredients and I could eyeball and taste the texture.  We ate a ton of cookie dough that night.  Only four cookies were baked that night, the remaining dough was sent to the fridge for tomorrow's delight.  So as I am making dinner that night, I also slide the remaining dough onto a baking sheet and voila cookies for dessert.  So I am enjoying my meal, I can't remember what it was as the peanut butter frosting has oblieterated my memory.  Again, no recipe, it is late and I have had some success lately with frosting.  One stick softened butter, about 1/2 - 3/4 cup peanut butter (creamy and natural), vanilla, and powdered sugar.  The next night at dinner I thought hmmm, wouldn't peanut butter frosting be yummy on these cookies.

So how does the frosting actually taste, well, kinda like Reese's pieces, not the cups, the pieces.  That smooth creamy sweet peanut butter.  The oatmeal actually goes very well with the peanut butter.  The raisins did not offend or try to upstage, in fact they dutifully took a backseat and played softly with the rest of the orchestra. 

I considered baking a 6" mini chocolate cake to use the remaining frosting.  However, reality took its toll and all of the cookies required said frosting and there really wasn't enough to justify a cake.  Oh well.  i did however, swipe that delicious goo on Nabisco chocolate wafers, another perfect combination with my new favorite frosting flavor. 

Who knew I was so into sweets?!

Not happy eating

There has been no happy eating or cooking for that matter for me lately.  A lot of sad and bad things have happened.  Someone close died and my best friend has cancer raging inside her.  My boyfriend lost his sweet sister and no one saw it coming.  I still don't think we know the cause.  And my BFF who was diagnosed on 9/11 over a year ago is in so much pain, and finally the doctors agree she is in pain because they can finally see on scans what is happening in her body.  Just listen to her!  Geez, she is more of a healer than so many doctors.  Had her health been as it should she would be a doctor of Chinese Medicine and Acupuncture by now and she would still be living downstairs from me and we would still be having spontaneous cook offs or taste this, I made it!

I have spent the last three weeks helping his family cope and there really is nothing you can do to take any of that pain away.  You can make sure someone has water, and a tissue near by and try to catch them when they collapse.  I have learned you certainly cannot get them to eat unless they want to, even with chocolate cake and near perfect homemade chile verde.  I even put in extra love, it is my secret ingredient.  Haven't you seen Como Agua Para Chocolate (or something like that), Like Water for Chocolate?  Now that I write that, I can't remember how the title fits in with the movie.   

I did learn that I can function on very little sleep and food if I need to.  The first week, less than 4 hours of sleep a night and less than a meal a day.  And for me, that is crazy talk.  I am a 3+ meal a day and 8 hours of sleep a night or I am cranky kinda girl.  The operative word in that first sentence is need to.  My heart brain and body were working hard to help those in so much pain.  And I think I learned that too many tears can bring a migraine or something like it.  The worst headaches I have ever felt.   

I did bake two chocolate cakes which came out pretty darn good for someone who has only baked a cake one time before.  I kinda wish we had saved a slice in the freezer to taste in happier times.  You know they would taste so much better when your heart is not broken.

Sad things make me want to change my life, live it how it should be lived, spend time with the right people.  But I am struggling to make that possible.  I feel torn in so many ways.  A large part of me wants to put the job on hold and just be with my friend and my boyfriend.  But with the economy in the shitter and a family business it is a tough call.  Plus if we to go to her, then I am leaving my family.  I have a wonderful and understanding family that would want me to do what is best for me, but I also want to do right for them too. 

I have wished so many times she had adult diabetes (bad unhealthy eaters diabetes), I could fix that!  I could cure her, if only that the case.  No meds needed, just exercise and a raw vegan diet for a while and then heathly whole food cooking and eating lessons.  America wake up, get off the enriched white floor corn syrup and fake sugar and fake shit.  We could save the planet and our health by making those toxic foods illegal. 

I am sad and rambling.  And need some good news.  I had some a few days ago, but I need more, I need a lot more good. 

Nachos Averted! Compromise reached!

I have a bad habit of waiting too long to eat lunch.  And that makes it even more dificult to find a good meal late in the day.  So today after sending an email to Marcia at Tablehopper.com asking for help on this matter I decided to go to gold standard El Burrito Express on Taraval in the Sunset. 

I wanted nachos!  I have a jar of pickled jalapenos in my fridge that have me craving nachos.  And it was the Super Bowl last weekend and not a nacho in sight.  Not even a wing, but that is another story.  So nachos is what I wanted but not what I really need to be eating. 

I ordered the Chile Verde Bronco Burrito plus compromise the addition of sour cream. It was delicious.  They know how to make a great Chile Verde.  They start by toasting the tortilla on the griddled, add a little Monterey Jack queso and slices of ripe fresh avocado, salsa, pintos, sour cream and chile verde.  Perfection.  They make great rice, but the burrito doesn't need it or want it.  I even nibbled on a few chips, so I guess I have made nachos in my stomach. 

Nachos averted and satiated.

Goat Chops!

Ok it is here!  Yeah!  My protein CSA from Marin Sun Farms so far so good.  I have 2 lovely little goat chops and I marinated them curry, yoghurt, homegrown Napa lemon juice, homemade apple cider vinegar, and a bit of salt.  So yummy!  I served the chops on a salad with a little goat cheese and crouton.  It was raining that night so I used my cast iron grill on the stove.  I was feeling the theme and made a corresponding salad dressing to the marinade, minus the yoghurt add olive oil.

It was nice to make a lovely salad dinner.  I have gotten so accustomed to rice or potatoes or someother starch it is a nice change to the greens. 

I can't wait to make lamburgers!  I think I will make a chimmichurri like sauce for the burger.

Lunch - Leek, Potato, and Escarole soup with Mini Pancetta Lardons

I started a lovely soup last night.  I sauteed celery, leeks and one clove of garlic in some olive oil then added homemade chicken stock.  Today I fried up the mini pancetta lardons and adding the escarole and then a blend to make it nice and smooth.  It blended to a nice spring green color.  Yum, I can't wait.